Any suggestions or happy stories would be greatly appreciated. Am I going to be like a zombie? Or not knowing what I'm doing anymore? The thought of taking them makes me realised that I have a problem and that I'm not in control and it frightens me!! anyone feeling the same? I feel lonely and like I'm losing the plot! All I do is think about how I feel!! I can't snap out of it!! I'm sorry I've written a novel. Now, I hate taking medication, and I am TERRIFIED to take those. However, she has given me a box of diazepam 2mg. I've doubled up on my citalopram 2 days ago but obviously ran out so I had to go to the out of hrs doctors who prescribed me some but didn't have any there. What can I do?!! Please help!! All I do is my breathing exercises, I push myself to go for walks and I'm about to go for a swim. It feels so intense and horrible that I can not eat (lost 3kg this week), I'm shaking all the time, I feel jelly ish, I keep thinking that I am anxious, that it's not getting better, it keeps taking me back to when I was 17 years old, it's a struggle to go through the day, I can't handle noise or bright lights, every time I breathe I have this thing in my stomach that reminds me that I'm anxious, I find it even difficult to look after/interact with my puppy ATM, I know I am stressing my partner out as he doesn't really get it. I went to the GP who told me that it was my panic/anxiety attacks, that I need to relax, do my breathing exercises. A month and a half ago I decided that I wanted to come off it as it is seriously affecting my libido. I have been taking citalopram for more than 10 years. My anxiety cycle is properly there and hasn't gone since (4 days now). I felt so guilty and dreadful but in my head I thought that I would feel fine again if they left. I just could not handle it, couldn't handle the noise, people around nothing! I was back on full blown panic attacks again! I told them that I could handle all of this that I needed peace and quiet and that I had to stay in a hotel!! Anyway they ended up leaving 3 days early than what was planned. 2 days after that my sister came with her family (2 young children). I had such high expectation of this procedure as I haven't been able to go to the office for 4 months now!! So I was really looking forward to it. I started having pins and needles like I never had before but after 30 min I started feeling better. I was lying there and could pretty much feel the needles in my neck it was horrid. I asked them not to sedate me as I hate taking medication. The minute I was there I started to panic like mad. However, last Thursday I had to go to hospital to have a spinal root injection in my neck to ease my back pain and sciatica down my arm. I become a nervous wreck! My anxiety/panic attacks have been very good for the last 2 years. Its horrible! And I guess like most people I start to look out for the anxiety and cannot relax. I start shaking, sweating, feeling dizzy, my mind races, I can't eat and find it difficult to even drink. And unfortunately for me it doesn't last an hour and I forget about it, it usually stays for at least a month and full on!! Just the thought of being there or the thought of having to feel perfect in front of them is enough to trigger it. I love them to bits but for some reason when I'm there or if they come and see me it often starts the cycle. Ever since then it comes and goes but I mainly get them if I have to go back to France to see my family. After that year it kind of vanished and reappeared when I was 21. The first time I had them they last on and off for 1 year!!! It was so horrible, I was frightened every single minute of the day and I didn't really have anyone to talk to. I've had my first panic attacks when I was 17.
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